That's Funny!

Marco: Hello English learners! Welcome back to EnglishPod! My name is Marco.

Erica: And I’m Erica.

Marco: And today we’re gonna have a fun… funny lesson.

Erica: That’s right. So, I think this lesson’s gonna be a little bit different than most of our lessons, right?

Marco: Right, today we’re gonna be looking at jokes, which is a very important part of English speaking culture.

Erica: Yeah, so, we’re actually… we’re gonna teach you a few, um, pretty hilarious jokes.

Marco: Hehe.

Erica: But we’re also gonna teach you some language related to jokes, funny things and, um, that sort of stuff.

Marco: Alright, so, in order for us to understand a little bit better the jokes that we’re gonna be looking at, why don’t we take a look at “vocabulary preview”?

Voice: Vocabulary preview.

Erica: Two of these words you’ll hear in the dialogue, but one you won’t, but you still need to know this word, so you can understand the jokes.

Marco: Alright, so, the word that we’re talking about is not really a word, it’s a sound.

Erica: Yeah.

Marco: Moo.

Erica: Moo.

Marco: So, moo is the sound that cows make.

Erica: That’s right, M-O-O.

Marco: Right, they go “moooo”.

Erica: Very nice, Marco.

Marco: Uh, I could do a good cow.

Erica: Yep. Alright, so, we all know now that that’s what cows say.

Marco: Exactly, so, it’s gonna be important for the joke and you’ll see why.

Erica: Okay, now, another word that you need to understand is a dam.

Marco: So, a dam.

Erica: A dam.

Marco: A dam is, uh, is… is like a big wall, right?

Erica: Well, it’s a wall in water that stops the river from flowing.

Marco: Okay, so, usually they’ll build dams in rivers and then the water can pass or not.

Erica: Yeah, it’s something that you use to generate electricity, right?

Marco: Very good, but there’s another word that sounds exactly the same way, but it’s just spelled a little differently.

Erica: That’s right and… and we might hear someone say “Oh, damn!”

Marco: And that’s an interjection which basically means…

Erica: “Oh, no!”

Marco: Right.

Erica: “That’s terrible!”

Marco: Aha.

Erica: Yeah.

Marco: Damn… I can say “Damn, I forgot my keys”.

Erica: Uhu. “Damn, we’re late for the movie”.

Marco: Okay, so, it’s an interesting interjection and we’ll also see it in one of our jokes. And now, let’s move on to our last word.

Erica: Nostrils.

Marco: Okay, nostrils.

Erica: Nostrils.

Marco: So, a nostril or your nostrils…

Erica: Are the two holes in your nose.

Marco: Right, you breathe through your nostrils.

Erica: Uhu.

Marco: Alright, so, now that we’ve taken a look at these three words, why don’t we listen to our comedian for the first time and then we’ll come back and talk a little bit more.

Voice: DIALOGUE, FIRST TIME

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Open Mic Night! Give it up for our first comic!

Comic: Hey, everybody, it's great to be here! I've been working on my routine and I got some real zingers for you tonight.

Comic: So, where do you find a one-legged dog? ... Right where you left it!

Comic: Okay, okay. What do you call a sheep with no legs? ... A cloud!

Comic: What do cows do for entertainment? ... They rent "moo-vies"!

Comic: Come on, that was funny! Okay, what does a fish say when it runs into a wall? ... Dam!

Comic: Tough crowd! Alright, last one. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? ... Because they have big fingers!

Heckler: You suck! Get off the stage!

Erica: Okay, so, some pretty hilarious jokes, huh?

Marco: I don’t think the crowd really enjoyed them all that much.

Erica: Okay, well, maybe, um, I’m just a fan of really terrible jokes.

Marco: Hehe. Well, they were pretty funny, but I guess the crowd just didn’t appreciate his, uh, sense of humor.

Erica: But you know what, they did use quite a lot of really interesting language, so why don’t we look at that now in “language takeaway”?

Voice: Language takeaway.

Marco: On language takeaway we’re gonna be looking at six words today, so let’s get started. The announcer welcomed everyone and said that, uh, it’s open mic night.

Erica: Open mic night.

Marco: So, an open mic night.

Erica: Okay, well, we know mic is short for microphone, right?

Marco: Uhu.

Erica: Now, an open mic night is a chance for anyone can come up and talk into the microphone.

Marco: So, you can come up and sing or you can tell jokes, you can do anything, basically.

Erica: Yep.

Marco: Alright, open mic night.

Erica: So, it’s not for professionals, but for people who maybe want to be professionals.

Marco: Right, amateurs.

Erica: Uhu.

Marco: So, it was open mic night and he said they had a lot of great comics there.

Erica: So, comics.

Marco: A comic.

Erica: A comic.

Marco: So, basically, a comic is a person…

Erica: Uhu.

Marco: That makes a living by making people laugh.

Erica: Yeah, someone who… who stands up on stage and tells jokes.

Marco: Alright, would you say a clown is kind of like a comic?

Erica: No, they’re different.

Marco: They’re different, right?

Erica: A… a comic doesn’t wear a red nose and a crazy…

Marco: A costume.

Erica: Yeah.

Marco: Alright, yeah, cause I hate clowns! Hehe.

Erica: We do know that about you.

Marco: Alright, so, a comic. And, well, what comics do is they perform stand-up comedy.

Erica: Stand-up comedy.

Marco: Stand-up comedy.

Erica: Okay, so, stand-up comedy is… is really exactly what its name suggests, right?

Marco: Right, you stand up in front of, uh… an audience and you tell jokes and… or you make them laugh.

Erica: Yeah, tell funny stories.

Marco: It’s a very popular form of entertainment in the United States and the UK.

Erica: That’s right, um, and I think we’ll talk a little bit more about that at the end of the lesson. But why don’t we move on to our next word which is routine.

Marco: A routine.

Erica: So, the guy says “I’ve been working on my routine”.

Marco: So, what does he mean by his routine?

Erica: Well, I guess a… a routine is like a series or a collection of jokes or maybe movements that you use in a performance.

Marco: Alright, a routine.

Erica: So, you can talk about a dance routine.

Marco: Or in this case a comedy routine.

Erica: Uhu.

Marco: So, the series of jokes he’s gonna tell.

Erica: That’s right, that he practices again and again and again.

Marco: Alright, and in his routine he said he’s got a lot of zingers.

Erica: Zingers.

Marco: A zinger.

Erica: So, what’s a zinger?

Marco: Basically, a zinger is like a strong, maybe a little bit rude joke.

Erica: Yeah, but like, uh, kind of a one line joke, right?

Marco: Right, exactly.

Erica: Yeah.

Marco: And the people that were in the crowd and they were booing him, they were like “Boo”.

Erica: Mm.

Marco: Those we call hecklers.

Erica: Exactly and that’s our last word – a heckler.

Marco: A heckler.

Erica: Hecklers.

Marco: So, let’s listen to some hecklers in action.

Sound Effect: The sound of booing hecklers.

Erica: Alright, well, I think that’s pretty clear. Those are definitely hecklers.

Marco: Right, they’re very annoying.

Erica: Uhu.

Marco: So, now that we finished looking at all the words that are related to comedy and performances, let’s, uh, take a look at the jokes now in “fluency builder”.

Voice: Fluency builder.

Erica: Okay, well, we’re not really focusing on… on new phrases for you here, but we thought it would be helpful to, um, talk a little bit about the jokes to help you understand them, right? Cause they are, well, I think pretty funny.

Marco: Yeah, they’re pretty funny, but maybe sometimes they’re kind of hard to understand. So, why don’t we start with the first joke? So, he said where do you find a one-legged dog?

Erica: What’s a… a one-legged dog?

Marco: Basically, it’s a dog that has one leg.

Erica: Uh, okay, and the pronunciation here’s… is important, right?

Marco: One-leggEd.

Erica: Not, one-leggeD.

Marco: No.

Erica: One-leggEd.

Marco: So, you can say “A one-legged dog, a two-legged dog or a three-legged dog”.

Erica: Six-legged dog?

Marco: A six-legged spider, maybe lost two legs in, you know… in a war.

Erica: Oh, dear. Okay, so, uh, the dog obviously didn’t go anywhere and so that’s why you find it where you left it.

Marco: Exactly, so, that’s why it’s kind of funny.

Erica: Okay.

Marco: Alright, so, then he said what do you call a sheep with no legs?

Erica: I don’t know.

Marco: A cloud. Basically, because, you know, sheep are fluffy and they’re white, so if you take away their legs, they look like a little cloud.

Erica: Boo.

Marco: Alright, let’s look at the next one. He asked what do cows do for entertainment?

Erica: And then the answer was they rent mooovies.

Marco: Exactly, so, it’s kind of funny, because he’s relating this word movies with what the… with the sound that cows make, which is moo.

Erica: Right, and actually, um, there are a million jokes in English following the same pattern, right?

Marco: Yeah, exactly. So, I’m sure you can find a lot more of them and you can share them with us.

Erica: Now, my personal favorite joke is the guy says what does a fish say when it runs into a wall?

Marco: So, to run into a wall, basically, is to crash against the wall.

Erica: Yeah.

Marco: So, what does a fish say?

Erica: Dam!

Marco: So, why is this funny? Why does he say “Dam”?

Erica: Well, cause it’s… I mean if you… if you… if you a person and you run into a wall… Damn! Like the… you know, just like “Oh, no!”

Marco: Ouch… ouch.

Erica: Ou… yeah. But a fish is swimming under the water and like we saw a dam is actually like a wall in the water.

Marco: So, he’s saying like “Oh, a wall”.

Erica: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, it’s that… I like that one.

Marco: Hehe. Alright, the last one was pretty good. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Erica: Okay, so, the big holes in their nose.

Marco: Right, and basically it’s because they have big fingers.

Erica: So, they can put their fingers in the nose?

Marco: Yeah, exactly! How…

Erica: Oh, dear.

Marco: If the gorilla didn’t have big nostrils, he wouldn’t be able to pick his nose.

Erica: Maybe he’d have to use a stick.

Marco: Yeah, but that wouldn’t be convenient, see?

Erica: Alright.

Marco: So, that’s why those jokes are funny. They’re very short jokes. Some… of course, some of them are not actually really funny, but, uh… it’s just a little bit of a taste of short American jokes.

Erica: Okay, well, I think we need to hear them one more time in context, so, um, you can all know how funny or maybe not so funny they are.

Voice: DIALOGUE, SECOND TIME

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Open Mic Night! Give it up for our first comic!

Comic: Hey, everybody, it's great to be here! I've been working on my routine and I got some real zingers for you tonight.

Comic: So, where do you find a one-legged dog? ... Right where you left it!

Comic: Okay, okay. What do you call a sheep with no legs? ... A cloud!

Comic: What do cows do for entertainment? ... They rent "moo-vies"!

Comic: Come on, that was funny! Okay, what does a fish say when it runs into a wall? ... Dam!

Comic: Tough crowd! Alright, last one. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? ... Because they have big fingers!

Heckler: You suck! Get off the stage!

Erica: And now, if you have any, uh, good jokes of your own, uh, why don’t you come to our website and tell us about them?

Marco: Right, come to englishpod.com, share with us any jokes. Of course, they have to be clean. Don’t come and…

Erica: No… yeah, no swears.

Marco: No swearing in the… in the jokes.

Erica: Yeah.

Marco: Alright, so, we’ll see you guys there and until next time…

Erica: Thanks for listening and… Good bye!

Marco: Bye!